He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
