I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
