He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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