Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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