I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i think i just lost a toe
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
