With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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