The maid of honor just puked.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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