your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if i died would you start the facebook group?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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