She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
