But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
