yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
