im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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