He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
