Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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