Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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