Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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