The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
