Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
