The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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