dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
don't judge my taste in strippers
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
