i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
