Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
