Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
