Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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