I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
