My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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