I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
