ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
