i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
