Girls should come with a carfax report
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
