im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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