She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
