Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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