I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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