Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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