Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
