walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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