whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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