she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
