Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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