She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
