My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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