Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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