I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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