I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
