My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
