Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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