i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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