i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
