just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
