OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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