At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
