So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
