My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
