maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
