Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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