what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
